


The Witch Princess and the Frog

by Evilicing



Category: Harvest Moon, Harvest Moon: Animal Parade
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilicing/pseuds/Evilicing
Summary: Witch tried to warn that stupid Wizard not to use that spell… and now, a young farmer girl is at her doorstep asking for help to change Wizard back from a frog…wait, what? Wizard is a frog and WITCH has to make a potion to help HIM? A "what-if" short story adventure, with Witch and Wizard's roles reversed! [Rewrite from ff.net.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be just a bit of a rewrite from something I wrote back in 2013! I realized I'd never cross-posted this to ao3, for some reason, but what better excuse for me to rewrite several years later, considering my writing has (hopefully) improved!? :) Basically a short AU where Wizard eff'd up and turned himself into a frog instead of Witch.

"Do you know the Wizard?"

The sound of his name made her blood boil. Witch's eyes squinted into thin slits, and her muscles twitched in response. This stranger in front of her had crossed the line.

"First you come barging into my house without my permission, and now you dare to bring up the source of all my hatred in the world?! Who do you think you are?"

The young girl jumped back as Witch gradually raised her voice. She'd already looked particularly frightened ever since she'd entered Witch's small hut, and Witch's unpredictable temper hadn't helped in the slightest.

The farmer trembled as she took a big gulp of air, as if it would save her. "I-I've been going to his house everyday, and I haven't been able to meet him. I thought maybe you would know where he is…"

Witch sneered, crossing her arms over her chest. "How am I supposed to know? I'm not that idiot's keeper. Maybe he did us all a favor and finally left this island!"

"Please don't say that!" the girl begged. "I really need his help… I'm searching for the Green Bell, and I've been told that he's the only one who can help me…"

"Wait," Witch interrupted, as if she hadn't been listening to anything the girl had been saying. "Did you say he hasn't been _home_? That lazy recluse never leaves his house…hmm…"

The girl stayed quiet as she watched the Witch pace her room in deep thought.

"Tell me, girl… did you happen to see a frog in that house, by chance?"

"Um, a frog?" the girl asked, testing her memory. "Well, now that you mention it… I did hear croaking somewhere in the room."

Witch stomped down her foot in triumph. "Aha! I knew it!"

The girl was beyond lost in this conversation, a skeptical eyebrow raised and aimed at the mysterious witch. "Knew what, now…?" she asked dumbly. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"That frog is the man you're looking for!" Witch exclaimed between laughter. She had broken out into a hysterical fit of cackling. "What an _idiot_! I told him not to use that spell to revive the Goddess Tree, and look what happened to someone who dared not listen to the beautiful Witch Princess's advice! This is so…so _perfect_!"

"Wh-what?!" the young girl asked. Her eyes were wide with disbelief as the Witch continued her laughing fit. "He got turned into a _frog_? No way, this can't be happening to me... I need his help! Can't you turn him back to normal?!"

Any trace of laughter immediately disappeared as soon as Witch heard the girl's request. Her smile turned upside down as she readied a glare. " _What_ did you just say?"

"Um… I just asked if you could turn him back to normal…"

"Now why would I want to do something stupid like that, little girl?" Witch asked, somewhat more casually, her hands still defensive on her hips. "This is the most perfect justice that has ever been done in this world! My mortal enemy got exactly what he deserved!"

"Please help me!" the girl shouted, her sudden determination surprising them both. "I have to ring all the bells on this island, and I really need this man's help. You don't like him, I get that, but... this is a bigger deal than just _you_ holding a grudge! The Harvest Goddess' life is at stake here. Her tree is dying, and it's only a matter of time before it wilts completely. You know this just as much as I do! That's why I have to do this…"

Witch stared at the girl, trying her hardest to look as unconcerned as possible. Humans were all the same. Always asking, always _wanting_ things… but never giving back anything in return. It was all the fault of humans that the Goddess Tree was dying to begin with; their kind had forgotten the blessings that the Harvest Goddess bestowed upon them and the land.

"And what could a little human like you possibly do?" Witch finally asked after studying the girl for a moment. "You're telling me that the Harvest Goddess told you to do all this? That 'ringing the bells' nonsense?"

The girl quickly nodded in the affirmative. "Yes! I've already rung two of the bells, the Red Bell and the Blue Bell. Haven't you noticed that the powers of fire and water are back to normal?"

"Hmph," the Witch grunted. "And you're telling me that idiot has the Green Bell?"

The girl nodded with complete confidence.

Witch sighed, though skillfully maintaining her frown. The Wizard was very powerful. Much more powerful than her. Not that she'd even dream of admitting it out loud, but she couldn't deny that if anyone could help this girl, it would be _him_. She hated him so much that she had almost forgotten why she hated him; it had started long ago. Everything about him…she hated him! She loathed his existence! He tormented her thoughts constantly, his tanned face with his delicate features, his bi-colored eyes always watching her with his lazy, emotionless expression. She hated the way he smelled, a unique aroma of coffee and various potions. She hated the way his silver hair looked so effortlessly soft, and the way his lean body never aged like it should.

And his speech… oh, his speech. How much of her time had he wasted just by trying to say a single sentence to her? His broken vocabulary dragged even more than his personality, which was boring and serious. Never once in all the many years she'd known him had he ever smiled. There was even a time, long, long ago when Witch had tried to be nice to him. Goddess knows she'd genuinely _tried_  to talk to him and get to know him, bringing him many gifts of octopus and squid and other such junk.

Every time, he would turn a cold shoulder to her and stick his nose back in a book. Although they had the same magical power, they couldn't be more different. She was fiery and passionate, a magical being absorbed in her greatness and beauty, while he was a social disaster, mysterious and enigmatic. He had devoted the last few centuries of his existence to his love for the universe—more precisely, _stars_.

After a while, they began to have arguments. Or rather, Witch would yell at him and he would watch her indifferently, wearing his usual unreadable expression. This only angered her more, and eventually Wizard got bored with their banter and left her alone completely. Not without having the last word, of course. Goddess, she hated how he did that.

She would _never_ understand that man.

"Well, I hope you know that the only way to reverse the spell isn't easy," Witch finally said through her teeth.

The girl's expression immediately brightened, as if she already knew this was a sign she'd somehow convinced the Witch to cooperate. "I'll do anything! Just tell me what you need and I'll get it!"

Witch grinned devilishly. "Fine, the only ingredients I'm lacking is a Hibiscus flower, good cornmeal, perfect butter, and…"

She stopped her sentence abruptly, tapping her finger onto her chin. "Well, bring me those ingredients for starters and we'll go from there," she continued. "I doubt you'll be able to even acquire these items for me, so there's no point in telling you about the _final_ ingredient yet."

The girl had apparently ignored the Witch's complete lack of faith in her abilities, choosing to bow instead. "Thank you so much, Miss Witch! Hibiscus, good cornmeal, and perfect butter… I'll be right back!"

She stopped to turn once she made it to the door. "By the way… my name is Molly." Her smile was much too contagious. "It's been a pleasure to meet you."

Witch rolled her eyes, finally alone again after the girl skipped out.

"Be right back, my ass," she snorted as she made her way to her cauldron, giving it a quick stir. "That foolish human will never find all those ingredients!"

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

This human confused her.

 _Molly_.

Witch tapped her long fingernails onto her table in annoyance as Molly plopped down the perfect butter and hibiscus flower in front of her with a proud smile.

She had brought back two of the ingredients for Witch in such a short time, and it was only a matter of time before her corn was ready for harvest so that she could make the cornmeal, too. Witch couldn't believe it; she had seriously considered making up more mysterious, random items to send the farmer on a wild goose chase… _that_ would teach her. Something about this girl seemed very capable, however. Witch decided that even if she made up impossible items that didn't even _exist_ , somehow Molly would find the items anyway and proudly present them to her.

Molly visited Witch frequently, always stopping by her quaint little hut to bring gifts and have a chat. Witch had to admit that perhaps she didn't mind the attention…it had been a long time since she'd talked this much to a human.

Maybe Molly's company wasn't so bad.

"So, why do you hate the Wizard so much?"

Witch gritted her teeth. Scratch that, she took back every compliment she'd just thought about the girl. "And how is that any of your business?" she snapped, sending the farmer her usual glare when she angered her (which was, quite often).

Molly scratched the back of her head nervously, averting her gaze away from Witch's golden glare. "Well, I mean…it's not… I was just curious, I guess."

"Well, curiosity kills the cat…isn't that what you humans love to say?"

Molly gulped. "Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry… I'm just so close to getting the last ingredient, I guess I was just a little curious what this guy is like."

What was he like? What was he _like_? Ooh, Witch could tell her exactly what that jerk was like…where to begin?

She narrowed her eyes as she attempted to busy herself as to not seem interested in their conversation. She picked up her broom and began to sweep her floor aimlessly.

"Oh yeah," Molly added, since Witch decided not to contribute anything more to the conversation. "What was the other ingredient you talked about once?"

Witch snapped. "What is with you and your questions today?! You're driving me crazy, Molly! Enough!"

"I-I'm sorry," Molly muttered quietly under her breath. She looked a little confused, but barely offended. "I'm just…trying to get to know you."

Witch raised an eyebrow. "Get to know me?"

The concept was strange to her. When was the last time someone had "gotten to know her"? Even Wizard, the only living person in the world she could even call an _acquaintance_ , didn't know the real her, as well as the long, storied past she'd endured. All of her memories, some forgotten, some that would never disappear—her life as a witch wasn't something that anyone could just "get to know" through a simple chat on a bright Summer day.

"I admit that…I'm not used to this much attention, Molly," Witch said with a sigh as she sat back down at her table with her. She looked up from her sulking only to lock their eyes; Witch hadn't expected Molly's to be so warm and understanding as she gazed back at her.

What was with this girl...?

Maybe Molly figured this was Witch's own unique way of trying to apologize for her brash and thoughtless behavior. She gave her a gentle smile. "I understand. I shouldn't barge in on you like this all the time."

Witch shook her head, disconnecting herself from the girl's glance, fidgeting in her seat. "No…it's not that. I, um, I don't mind it when you visit me. But if you think _I'm_ not used to this much attention, you'll be even more surprised to see how popular Wizard is."

Molly immediately noticed her sarcasm. "What are you trying to say?" 

"I'm just saying, don't be surprised if he isn't too thrilled about helping you out or talking to you. He's completely clueless when it comes to having a conversation with humans, unlike me."

"Thanks for the warning," Molly said with a quick nod. She was happy the Witch decided to finally share a bit of detail about the Wizard, even as unhelpful as it seemed. She couldn't help but feel she'd made progress today with her relationship with her; she wondered if it had anything to do with the shiny fugue mushroom she had given the Witch as a present that day.

"Of course, that is, providing that the transformation is a _success_ ," Witch suddenly offered, a mischievous smirk appearing on her pale lips. "…Or if I don't change my mind about helping you."

It appeared she was still the same Witch, after all. Molly knew it was time to get herself in gear and get that corn to grow as quickly as possible before Witch got any crazy ideas about changing her mind and bailing out.

She'd learned fairly quickly that anytime the Witch was involved, it was best not to _ever_ push your luck.

 

* * *

 

Witch stood in front of the Wizard's house, her petite frame covered completely by a long, black cloak. She had the hood pulled up over her silver hair just enough to help blend in with the night as she roamed Harmonica Town. She very rarely made appearances to the village unless she had an important errand or was dying of boredom. Even so, she knew her way around the small little town and knew _exactly_ where Wizard lived among these clueless humans. She had been to his house before on several occasions. Mostly to spy on his research or to pull a prank, but this visit was different.

As she opened the unlocked door, she was greeted with pitch-black nothingness; it was so dark she couldn't even make out shapes in the room. She grumbled as she traced the walls for a light switch, finally finding one as she nearly tripped over something at her feet.

An out-of-place spellbook? What a _slob_ , she thought to herself.

She scanned the inside of the house slowly once the lights were on. She made her way over to the Wizard's bed, making a mental note of how surprisingly well made it was. She never took him for the type to make his bed; she wondered if he used some sort of magic to do this chore. Witch would definitely have to look into this spell.

She examined the bed closely, her eyes on a mission to find something of importance. "There you are!" she exclaimed in satisfaction, pinching a long strand of silver hair from the pillow.

Witch eyed the hair she held in between her fingers before slowly slipping it into her cloak. "Oh, Wiz~ard…where are you? I know you're in here."

She frowned when she didn't hear a reply; well, not like she was expecting a _verbal_ reply from the anti-social man anyways, but would it kill him to croak or at least  _answer_ her call, to let her know that he was listening?! How she hated him…!

"Wizard!" she called out again, this time louder and with a tone of increasing anger. She tapped her foot impatiently. After a moment of more unresponsiveness, she crossed her arms and started to walk towards the direction of the door. "Fine, then. I don't care where you're hiding, and I'm not wasting my precious time to try and find you. Ignore the only person who is capable of saving you! See what I care. Hope you enjoy eating flies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!"

Before she could take a step closer, she gasped when she noticed a frog sitting in front of her, blocking her path to the exit. "Where the heck did you come from?!" she shrieked as she recoiled a step or two backwards.

The frog croaked, but made no other movement as it sat there in front of her. It was a purple-colored frog with small spots, which the Witch found very fitting for Wizard. It reminded her vaguely of a little fugue mushroom; she resisted the urge to giggle. He looked so silly.

"Don't get the wrong idea here," she said as she flipped her hair, pouting. "I'm only helping you because a certain human needs _your_ help. Personally, I much prefer you like this."

The frog made no noise as he looked up at her, but Witch could've sworn that she heard a faint voice echo in her head.

" _The potion… will it work…?"_

Witch squinted her eyes as she telepathically replied back to the amphibian, " _Don't ever doubt my magic!"_

And with that, she pulled back up her hood and took a dangerously close step to the door, the heel of her shoe right above the frog sitting in her way. He croaked as he dodged her step with a quick hop to the side, his eyes still fixed on her as she reached for the doorknob.

"… _take your time_ …"

"Was that sarcasm, you stupid toad?" she growled as she looked down at him scornfully.

The frog was silent, and so was the previous voice in her head. Even Wizard knew not to test his luck against the Witch, something he'd learned the hard way in the past. Witch grinned boastfully, as this was the first time she could ever remember that she'd gotten the last word in their banter.

For some reason, her victory wasn't as rewarding as she thought it would be, maybe because winning an argument against a _frog_ didn't feel quite the same.

She slammed the door behind her, although she immediately remembered that she was trying to go unnoticed in the small town. After she was sure no one had heard her, she concluded the night's mission as she returned to her home in Fugue Forest.

Only two ingredients remained before she could work her magic.


	3. Chapter 3

Molly watched with wide, curious eyes as Witch stirred the final ingredients together in the cauldron. All of the ingredients had now been gathered, ever since she'd brought the good cornmeal, and today was the day that the spell on Wizard would finally be reversed.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little nervous; not only was she going to witness real magic for the first time, but she was also going to be meeting a brand new person—a new person that Witch made out to be the most horrible being alive. What if he was _scary_? Or mean?

Then again, it didn't seem like Witch got along with much of anyone, so maybe he was completely normal.

Witch stopped her incessant stirring only for a moment, turning to grab a jar of something on the nearby shelf. When she turned back around only half a second later, Molly was leaning eagerly over the cauldron, her face nearly inches away from the bubbling red concoction.

"Hey you!" Witch gasped as she leaped over her pot, harshly pushing Molly away from it. She practically fell into the cauldron herself instead, losing her balance for a moment as her hair almost dangled into the liquid. Luckily, she caught herself just in time before something disastrous had happened. Her hands gripped onto the sides of the cauldron tightly as she held up her weight.

"Molly!" Witch shouted. "You _idiot_ , look what you almost made me do!"

Molly chewed innocently on her bottom lip. "I…I was only taking a quick look!"

"Yeah, well, this potion has to be perfect, completely and totally flawless! The spell won't work properly if I have you breathing all over my precious potion!"

"Sorry," Molly mumbled lamely as she slunk her head down. Her interest piqued again, however, as she noticed Witch opening the jar she had previously grabbed before the almost-accident.

Witch reached into the small jar to grab something, and Molly raised a clueless eyebrow. "What is that, some kind of invisible ingredient? I don't see anything in that jar," she commented.

"Of course not," Witch answered her with a roll of her eyes. She pinched her fingers tighter together as she held up her hand. "It's a hair, see? A strand of that _idiot's_ hair, to be exact."

As Molly leaned closer, she did start to notice the presence of a piece of hair in between the Witch's fingers. Light reflected and danced off the shiny, silver strand before Witch dropped it into the bubbling mixture below.

"How did you get a piece of his hair?" Hikari asked with interest.

Witch resumed her stirring, frowning. "I had to find one in his house, how else? Do you think I just keep locks of people's hair sitting around in my collection?"

Molly knew the answer to that question would more than likely offend the Witch, or just seem completely stupid in the first place. It appeared to do both. "Oh… well… did you see the Wizard when you went to his house?"

"Unfortunately. He seems to be getting along just fine these days, are you sure you want to go through with this spell?"

"W-well, of course!" Molly answered firmly. "After all I went through to get those ingredients…"

"There is still one more ingredient, you know," Witch said nonchalantly as she tapped the ladle against the brim of the cauldron with a metal _clink_.

"What? Another one? I thought I got everything…"

Witch ignored the young girl's inquiries as she turned to look for a container. After finding a small glass, she dipped the ladle into the red potion and slowly, yet carefully, poured some into it.

She reached the glass over to Molly's hesitant face. "Here. Drink this."

Molly took a step backwards, slowly edging away from the container currently being offered to her. "What, why? I thought this potion was for Wizard…"

Witch continued holding out the glass to her, unfaltering. "It is. But _you_ have to drink it."

"B-but…why?! I don't understand!"

Witch began to glare listening to the farmer's protests. "Don't make me _force_ you to drink this…because trust me, if I need to, I'll cast a spell on you!"

Molly paced around the room several times, a persistent Witch following her every step with the mystery glass of liquid. She eventually took the glass from Witch's hands. The more she stared into it, the more she hesitated. "Look…can't you please just tell me what's going on?" she begged.

Witch rolled her eyes, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. "You humans complain so much…so cautious! Fine, I'll tell you. The final requirement for the spell to work is a kiss from one who is touched by the effects of the magic potion."

The words rolled from her lips so slowly as Molly processed them into her own brain. She stood there, completely dumbstruck. "A…kiss? You have…got to be kidding me…"

The smirk Witch had been holding back for quite some time now quickly turned into sudden, high-pitched laughter. "What's wrong, Molly? Haven't you ever read a human fairy-tale story? Did you really think spells like that were only fake? Where do you think the idea came from?"

Molly felt dizzy as she continued looking into the glass of potion in her hand. So _that's_ why Witch wouldn't tell her the final ingredient until now.

"I really have to kiss…?"

"It's either you or me, and _I'm_ certainly not going to do it. Hmph! I'd rather die before I kissed a frog… especially one that happens to be _him_!"

There was an awkward silence between the two for a moment. Molly stood there motionless, staring into the glass while Witch watched her impatiently. Her foot had already begun its relentless tapping against the floor.

"Well, do you still want to go through with this?" Witch asked, returning back to her stool at the cauldron. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to back out now..."

"No, I have to do this," Molly answered, quicker than Witch expected her to. "If this really is the only way, then I have to… for the Harvest Goddess."

Witch pretended not to watch her as she suddenly pressed the glass to her lips. She was surprised by the sudden bravery when she heard Molly gulp down the potion. After a moment, the glass was empty, and Molly was left gasping for breath.

"That…was disgusting…" she panted.

Witch grinned. "Well, I told you this wouldn't be easy, didn't I? No one _ever_ listens to me…"

Molly set the glass down on the table, happy to be rid of it along with its former contents. "So…now what?" she asked, rightfully annoyed.

"Now we go to him. Since you've finally drank the potion, we should hurry."

 

* * *

 

 

The two made it to Harmonica Town in perfect time, as Witch had conjured up a spell to instantly transport them to Wizard's house. Molly was grateful; she was hoping the Witch would do something like that, so she wouldn't have to worry about any of the townspeople seeing her walking to Wizard's house with the rumored Witch… not to mention the fact that her stomach was starting to feel a bit queasy. She knew it was more than likely due to the vile potion she had choked down prior to their arrival.

The frog was sitting on a table in the middle of the room, as if he knew they would be coming and was eagerly awaiting their visit. He was quiet as he stared at them.

"Let's get this over with so I can go back home," Witch spoke haughtily, as if this was just a normal occurrence in her everyday life as she flipped through the spell book she had brought with her. The sudden aroma of coffee beans always invaded her senses when she was in this stupid house; it was so strong that she could barely concentrate. She shot a glance to Wizard. "You better get on your hands and knees and thank me properly for this once you're back to normal!"

The frog simply sat there, unaffected by her threats. Molly stood sheepishly beside the Witch as she stared at the ground. She was so nervous that she could feel her knees trembling below her. She really hoped nothing bad would happen to her… could she really trust the Witch?

When it came down to it, she knew she didn't have any other choice.

"Ready, Molly?" Witch finally asked, eyeing her with caution. "When I'm done reciting the spell, you'll need to do _it_."

"Um…right," Molly answered gingerly, slowly making her way to the frog. She scooped him up gently into her hands. He released a croak as she situated him to balance comfortably in her palms. She was glad that the frog seemed to be a lot calmer than _she_ was. She wondered if he could feel her shaking...

Witch cleared her throat once she saw Molly was finally ready. She closed her eyes as the spell book lifted from her hands, a light glow beginning to emit from it. Her hair began to dance around her as if a gentle wind was blowing, and she began to chant quietly:

_"Petals of red, hair from the head,_

_Corn and milk are fed._

_Time will skip as this form slips,_

_An offering of body and lips…"_

At the sound of the word "lips," Molly took this as her cue. She shut her eyes tight as she lifted the frog slowly to her mouth. She could feel its pulse in her hands as she pressed her lips onto the slimy creature. She couldn't _believe_ she was doing this...!

The blood in her veins felt hot, and an indescribable feeling began to develop in the pit of her stomach… perhaps this was the effect of the potion she drank?

Molly's hands felt empty when she realized the frog was _gone_ , a puff of smoke immediately engulfing the area. It felt as if time had stopped around them as she felt someone pressed up close against her. She opened an eye to see a mysterious figure before her, gently pulling away as the smoke faded into mist. A blush crept to her face as their lips parted from each other, the entire thing happening so fast she barely understood what had even happened to begin with.

The tall figure before her came better into focus as he continued backing away from her. They slowly examined each other for a moment, his thin eyes all but questioning her from underneath his flowing silver bangs. A long braid hung on one side of his dispassionate face, stopping just below his collarbone. He looked so gentle and impassive, yet he was surrounded by an unearthly magical aura that almost made him glow. As Molly continued to stare him down, she found that the Green Bell was the last thing on her mind. Was this really the monster Witch talked about so much?

He'd opened his mouth to say something, but stopped as he suddenly turned to look behind them. As more smoke thinned out, a strange noise was heard nearby, followed by the thump of the spell book hitting the ground.

A tiny pink frog with a large witch hat sat on the floor close to where Witch had just been standing, croaking loudly.

A hint of a smile formed on Wizard's lips as he looked down at the frog. "The potion…I think… you made it wrong…"

Molly blinked several times before realizing that this new frog was indeed the mighty Witch Princess, who didn't seem too happy judging by the strange sounds she was making. If she wasn't a frog right now, there was no doubt in Molly's mind that she'd be shouting up a storm.

She'd warned Molly that the potion had to be _perfect_ … and Molly had a suspicion that maybe a hair or two had fallen in the potion while she was making it.

The Wizard turned to look at Molly again, his face more expressionless than stone. "I will require… Hibiscus… good cornmeal…and perfect butter…" he deadpanned. "If you want to help her…"

Molly slapped a hand to her forehead. She couldn't even think straight when she closed her eyes. At least the transformation had been a success, but… "Please don't tell me I have to kiss _her_ too."

She wasn't sure whose face was more red between the two of them—the Wizard's, or the _frog's_. 

Molly had never _seen_ a blushing frog before, of course, but coming to Castanet Island had taught her one very, important thing. 

From restoring a goddess to her original form, to having a floating _sprite_ as a best friend, and lastly to kissing a frog and turning it into a man:

There was a first time for _everything_.


End file.
